Marti Abernathey

Bill Hicks is still relevant today.

It’s just a ride, and we can change it any time we want. It’s only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings and money, a choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your door, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one.I’m gonna share with you a vision that I had, cause I love you. And you feel it. You know all that money we spend on nuclear weapons and defence each year, trillions of dollars, correct? Instead… just play with this… if we spent that money feeding and clothing the poor of the world, and it would pay for it many times over, not one human being excluded and we can explore space together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace.

Marc Maron probably had the funniest political show ever, with Morning Sedition. I recently happened upon some of his musings… the guy is one of the best comedians ever. He could use some decaf though. And seriously dude, you are the poster child for mania running in families.

Technorati Tags: Marc Maron

Sheesh. Let’s go to the Ole Myspace mailbag, shall we?

“hey babe,

my names john, i am a 22 yr old from chicago. I am very outgoing and willing to try anything once. I am a chef and curently going to culinary school. I have pics, but for now i am 5′7” tan athletic body brn eyes n hair 150 pnds, and italian. I just wanted to tell you that you are georgeous and i’d love to talk to u. Also i am very very bi curious. hehe. Could i have your yahoo id so we could chat more, or aol? Thanks hope to hear from you soon! - John”

“YEA YEA YEA….

I KNOW I DON’T KNOW YOU AND YOU DON’T KNOW ME. SO WE GOT THAT SETTLED. I WOULD LIKE TO BE ADDED TO YOURS AND YOU ADDED TO MINE…. ADDING AS A FRIEND, I’AM NOT GOOD AT THIS….

SO HOW DOES THAT SOUND! I KNOW I KNOW I’AM SORRY I COULD’NT SELL YOU INSURANCE WITH THAT STUFF.
I KNOW! IT’S THE WAY YOU PUT THINGS MAINLY IN THE PART ABOUT YOUR SELF

P.S MY NAME IS JEFF

HOLLA BACK

I REALLY WANT CHAT WITH YOU I KNOW IT’S GONNA BE
SILLY . I FILL A BATTLE COMING ON————– BETWEEN WORDS
JUST FOR FUN “

“hi who are you doing tonight wanna chat hit me back -Gregg”

“want 9 inches? - K-Bo”

Sheesh. No wonder good men are hard to find.

But I saved the best for last….

“hey i can accept you being lesbian as long as your with me. sincerly ronnie i live in indy east side 632-2XXX” - Ronnie

powered by performancing firefox

Well… the good news is I DIDN’T DIE! OK, I didn’t expect to, but it makes for good drama! I wasn’t really prepared for how I felt after the surgery. The difference between a colonoscopy and full on surgery was staggering. With conscious sedation (Demerol and VerSed) I came out of the procedure feeling stoned to the bone, but with all my wits. But with my gallbladder surgery, I woke up feeling like a sick, confused and wounded dog. The confusion didn’t clear right away, either. It was at least 30 minutes before I was aware enough to sit up and know where I was. I do not like that feeling at all and I can’t imagine how much that’s going to be intensified with my genital and breast augmentation surgery. The thought of being alone for my GRS, scares me even more now. Physically I was alone at the hospital, but the entire time I was there I either talked with my love, text her, or sent pics to her. A few days before the surgery I received a package from her. With my birthday coming up, I shouldn’t have been surprised, but I was. I won’t list all the gifts, but you probably remember seeing me with my little cow…

and my socks…

and my blanket…

Every single gift that she gave me had some special meaning. It was a love package for sure. I was swimming in her comfort, concern, and love, even though she couldn’t be here for my surgery. I was glad that she could be there in spirit.

A week before the surgery, Nik’s aunt insisted that I come and stay with them for a few days. I was really touched by her offer. The surgery was done on an outpatient basis, so I needed to be picked up. I stayed a day at her house before going home. The lack of internets was driving me stir crazy, so I came home. I’m starting to get back into the groove of my life. I’m post op now about a week, and I feel pretty much back to normal.

Well, as normal as I get.

Posted straight from my phone with Nakama. Click to see more.

Heh… well maybe! I’m having my gallbladder removed tomorrow. If I die, before I wake, at least thy myspace blog I did make. I’m using the firefox performancing myspace add-on to post this biatch.

Spiffy.

That’s right kids, my gallbladder is outta here! I’d be a liar if I said I wasn’t scared, but not too much. I’m really content with my life, and the people I love, know they are loved. Damn, I thought my testicles would be the first things to die, under the knife. Expect me to write a lot, since I’m going to be off for a while.

If I don’t do the dying thing tomorrow, I’m seriously thinking about buying something like this in Chicago.

I’ll leave you with something I wrote for my loves, Dode and Lavanya.

“I hope this afternoon/evening finds you well. I started this email a
week ago and it blossomed into a bit more than I expected. It actually
helped me refocus my life on what I want to do.

Last week you asked me what my goals were, and just as synchronicity
would have it, I’ve been working on my goals.

As far as trans wise, in the next 15 months I want to my breast
augmentation done and get all my outstanding debts paid off. Do I want
to have GRS (genital reassignment surgery)? I’m fairly certain that I
want to “go all the way,” but I’m not 100 percent sure. Why? I don’t
care about my parts either way. I do want to suppress my testosterone
production and I want to be able to have an active sex life.

My essence has always been female, but I’ve been socialized as male.
It’s why I’m the hybrid you know today. I don’t need to have a vagina
to verify this to me. That being said, life would be a lot easier with
a vagina. I could have a F on my passport (definite safety issue). I
wouldn’t have to make the decision between going in the men’s restroom
and getting beat up or worse or going in the women’s restroom and
being arrested. It’s a matter of making my life easier and safer. I
could live as a woman but still keep my penis. Really, the only person
that would know would be my lovers. But I’m not fully functional as a
male, currently. Keeping my current genital configuration would limit
me to sexual partners as well. Safety, security, and a lot of sex are
what I desire. Surgery would probably put me in more normative
categories that would allow me a better chance for romantic
relationships.

As far as my gender presentation, I am positive that this is how I
want to spend the rest of my life. I want to have all my aesthetic
stuff done first, before I even consider GRS. To me, the vital
surgeries are breast augmentation, followed by brow lift/scalp
advancement, and then FFS (facial feminization surgery) and some
cosmetic dental work to boot. Most people wont see my genitals,
they’ll see my face/body. That’s the area that’s most important to me.
After all, this isn’t about how I have sex, it’s about me feeling
comfortable in my own skin.

In three years I plan on moving out of Indianapolis. But I won’t know
where home is until I get there and feel it. Until then, I’m not
counting any city out. I am acutely aware of how “red” this state is.
I want to get out of this conservative environment. Cities that have
my interest as of now are Windsor Canada, Chicago, Sacramento, San Francisco,
Boston, and Washington DC, but I wouldn’t rule out others.

My focus over the next three years is to get my son graduated,
visitation of my daughter reinstated, my debts paid off, and of course
to have at least my breast augmentation surgery done.

Long term plans? My theory is plan like you’re going to live till 119,
but act like I’ll die today. I want to learn how to climb and repel.
Before I die I want to visit Paris, London, Prague, Venice, Berlin,
Rome, Sydney, Scotland (especially Abernathy) The Grand Canyon,
Tijuana, Cape Horn, Brazil, and many other places that I’m forgetting.
I want to jump from an airplane, I want to swim again. I want to water
ski again, like I did when I was a teen. I want to look good enough in
a swimsuit that the genetic women are envious. I want to see my son
become a father, and my daughter become a mother. I want to foster
kids. I want to watch my grand kids. I want to write my autobiography
as a gift to my children and to speak with generations down my family
tree. I want to get back to the same shape I was in when I was 22. I
want to run for political office. I want to do more activism. I want
to stay positive while doing so. I want to study Aikido and Yoga. I
want to work out more. I want to be able to run hard and long. I want
a runner’s body again. I want to go back to college and get a degree
in English and possibly law school. I want to continue to broadcast
and create Internet content. I want to be surrounded by positive
souls. I want our friendship to be one of unity. I want to learn more
about each of your childhoods/family history. I want to leave this
world with both you and Dode in my heart and mind. I want my friends
close to me. I want to heal my enemies. I want to learn from jealousy.
I want to learn to love more. I want to learn more about Buddhism as a
philosophy. I want to live a life full of love, and a death that comes
naturally. I want to live a life of truth. I want to learn more about
me. I want to learn about others. I want to learn. I want to feel the
roughness of a man’s face on mine. I want to feel the softness of a
woman’s cheek. I want to hold hands. I want to go for walks with loved
ones. I want to plan my entire funeral (I’ve already started the
eulogy and I plan on making a funeral video to my family and friends
that will be played in place of a typical eulogy). I want to be
cremated and have half of my ashes buried in the ground (if my kids
need a place to visit for peace of mind…) and half spread over San
Francisco Bay. If I’m on life support and have less than a 40 percent
chance of regaining my past health, I want to be left to die. I don’t
want a preacher at my funeral. I don’t want any hymns played. I want
my death and my life to be signposts for those that come after me. I
want to leave this place with few regrets and as many loved ones as
possible. I want to feel. I want to ache. I want to live.

Most of all, I want to love and be loved in return.”

Be well, all.

As an avid Firefox user, I love sharing my modified version that helps me do so much more than IE. If you have a favorite extension that’s not listed here, please post it in the comments. Some of my favorite extensions are:

CustomizeGoogle - CustomizeGoogle is a Firefox extension that enhances Google search results by adding extra information (like links to Yahoo, Ask.com, MSN etc) and removing unwanted information (like ads and spam).

Google Preview - an extension that inserts preview images (thumbnails) of web sites and Amazon products into the Google and Yahoo search results pages. Thumbnails are provided by thumbshots.org and alexa.com. I LOVE this extension. So many sites are just search engines that list links to your queries. I can tell by just looking at the preview thumbnails….

Google Browser Sync - Firefox loves the Google, and Google loves the Firefox! Google Browser Sync for Firefox is an extension that continuously synchronizes your browser settings – including bookmarks, history, persistent cookies, and saved passwords – across your computers. It also allows you to restore open tabs and windows across different machines and browser sessions.

Download Status Bar - a browser extension that allows you to keep track of ongoing and completed downloads in a hide-away statusbar. It shows you

More Tools Menu - adds another menu choice that stores all your extension additions. Unclutters the “tools” menu.

IE TAB - One of my favorites! You can run IE inside firefox. The site you’re visiting doesn’t play well with FireFox? With a click of a mouse you can switch the browser.

Colorzilla - Wonder what that website uses for their background color? Wonder no more! If you do ANY web design, this extension is a time saver!

Web Developer - The Web Developer extension adds a menu and a toolbar to the browser with various web developer tools. The one i use the most is the CSS editor.

Card Games - Cards is a collection of patience (i.e. single-player) card games for Mozilla Firefox. Included are: Aces Up, Black Widow, Canfield, Demon, Double Klondike, Double Solitaire, Grounds for Divorce, Fan, Forty Thieves, FreeCell, Golf, Gypsy, Klondike, Maze, Mod 3, Montana, Penguin, Pile On, Pyramid, Regiment, Russian Solitaire, Sanibel, SeaHaven Towers, Simple Simon, Spider, TriPeaks, Union Square, Wasp, Whitehead, and Yukon.

Performancing - I’m using Performancing to post this to my blog as we speak Performancing is an extension for Firefox is a full featured blog editor that sits right within Firefox. Just hit F8 or click the little pencil icon at the bottom right to bring up the blog editor and easily post to your Wordpress, MovableType or Blogger blogs. If you blog at livejournal, Deepest Sender is another good extension. Post to LJ right from your browser!

Spiderzilla - is a website downloader. I used this program when it was an open source program… back in the day. This plugin is amazing. I’ve downloaded entire sound effects, fonts, and plugin websites with this extension.

Unofficial Myspace Toolbar - The “(Unofficial) Myspace Toolbar” is an extension for Firefox designed to enhance the Myspace experience. Using the toolbar you can automatically log-in, instantly access your messages, view hidden comments, and much more!

And what good are these extensions if you don’t have the latest version? Thanks to the Update Notifier, you’ll always have the latest extensions! I likey.

I want to add one of my other favorites, Torrent-Search toolbar
. It might give some of you the creeps because it feels like one of the Malware toolbars that have been around forever. But it has multiple torrent searches and a really great email checker. It’s one that I wouldn’t recommond to everyone.