Hmmm… So If I Were to Move…

It looks like Chicago makes the most sense.

Polyamory vs Polygamy

Recently, I was on a soap message board and an off topic post about “open marriage” came up. It reminded me that not everyone knows the difference between a polygamist and polyamorist. The following is what I wrote to the board.

There needs to be a distinction between polyamory and polygamy. Polyamory is about having loving relationships with multiple partners. Polygamy is about having multiple marriage partners.

I have no problem with polyamory ( I’m poly myself), but polygamy would be bad for the country, as it stands right now. You could marry 10 people and every one of those people could be carried on all your insurance policies. There are so many social welfare structures that would crumble due to the weight of the increases from polygamist families.

But, there is a VERY easy answer to all this. Get the government out of the business of regulating who can be a family and how they can be a family. Don’t support gay marriage? Marry a person of the opposite sex! Don’t support polygamy? Marry one person! The government has no constitutional mandate to regulate marriage in the first place.

Polyamory isn’t about swinging and it isn’t about cheating. You aren’t cheating if everyone knows what’s going on and communicates.

“I would never do that!”

Awesome! There are many things you do, that I would not. But your wants, prejudices, and desires, are just that… YOURS!

We claim to be over in Iraq spreading “freedom” but we don’t have it over here! Freedom as defined in the dictionary:

Freedom - the condition of being free; the power to act or speak or think without externally imposed restraints

IMO, if you aren’t harming a child, an animal, or another adult with your actions, then you should have the freedom to do as your own mind dictates! FREEDOM! Want to smoke cigarettes? Here’s a Newport! Pot? *horns* “Light up dude!” Prostitution? “Rock the van!” Marry a harem of ninja midget wrestlers if you want! Go wild!

*whew*

What you do with your body and your life, should be up to you… if you really believe in freedom. The question is, do you?

Shemale Deer!

I had to post this. I think they ought to do more investigating on this doe. She might just be a post-op tranny doe.

Buck With Large Antlers was Actually a ‘Shemale’ with Nice Rack

“Carmen Erickson and his six hunting partners in North Dakota received a shock when they examined the nice buck deer that Erickson had shot. The deer was actually a doe with a large 4-by-4 rack. “It’s got no male utilities,” said Erickson, from Minot. “It has teats … it was pretty unusual. I’m sure this story will be around for 10 years. At least in our group.” They notified the the Game and Fish Department and received a recorded message. The message said these types of deer often are just bucks who for some reason got castrated or whose testicles haven’t descended. Erickson said that does not apply to his his deer, however. “We couldn’t find any male genitals,” he said.

(Source URL)

Going Home to Pine Valley

Because of a tranny, I’m going home to Pine Valley. It’s been a long time (five years) since I’ve been to Pine Valley. Memories swim through my head of my friend Nina’s marriage to Cliff, Tad “The Cad” Martin, and that lovely old woman who owns the city’s boarding house, Myrtle Fargat.

Where is Pine Valley, exactly? It’s on television, of course. Modeled after the Philadelphia Main Line, Pine Valley is the backdrop for ABC’s daytime soap, All My Children (AMC).

Much of the bonding that my sister and I did, was in front of the tube, knee deep in the drama of Pine Valley’s most notorious characters. My obsession didn’t end with my childhood. Over the next 30 years I visited often, keeping tabs on the goings on, since I last visited. Even in marriage, I found a someone to share my love of AMC with. Deborah was even more addicted to AMC, than I. When our relationship went sour, I found watching my favorite soap was a constant reminder of days spent with my ex-wife. In my pain, I quietly slipped away from Pine Valley, seemingly forever.

But that was yesterday. ABC recently announced that it will introduce a transgender character on the show. The character, flamboyant rock star, Zarf, will transition from male to female on the show.

Some in the transgender community have voiced concerns that AMC will take this opportunity to exploit the topic in an attempt to gain ratings. It is true that AMC has declined in the ratings from 8.2 million in 1991-92 to 3.1 million last year. But the folks over at ABC are showing signs that they are serious about exploring the trans experience. They’ve consulted with GLAAD and even brought transgender consultants.

Also, Actor Jeffrey Carlson, is saying all the right things to reassure the community. In an interview with the Associated Press he spoke to his fears of representing the transgender community. Carlson said “I worry about missing something, but I guess that would be the same with any character. I want the ‘All My Children’ audience to go along.
It’s not for shock value. It’s just another person whose story is being told in Pine Valley.”

Personally, I’m excited at the thought of AMC taking on this topic. Our struggle doesn’t get a lot of light in the media. This role could be even more significant than last years surprise hit, TransAmerica. Daytime soap operas connect their viewers in a way that can only be done with characters they see every day. Anyone that watched TransAmerica did so with the specific knowledge that the plot was going revolve around the life of a transperson. But this is a great opportunity to show our struggle to people that may be resistant, even hostile, to our cause. Over time it’s very possible that the viewers will develop an affinity for her, and open their hearts and minds.

I know I’ve got my fingers crossed. Oh, and I’ve got a date on Thursday with my TV set. I’ll let ya all know what I think.

In The End

For years I suffered with my gender dysphoria and I did so silently. I was afraid, confused, and needed constant validation from others. I struggled with it for 33 years and tried everything I could do to hide it, bury it, fix it, or Jesus it away. But I’ve come to the conclusion that after 33 years of trying, that I should accept it and grow from it.

I’m no longer an insecure person that needs someone to validate me. I know who I am, what I want, and what I will and will not accept. I am an individual. I can only control things that I do and I am responsible for. I have worth based on how I feel about me, not how someone else feels about me I know who Marti is, even if you are confused about what “sex” or “gender” Marti is. Knowing Marti, finding Marti, has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.

I’ve been transitioning and on hormone replacement therapy since September 1st, 2001. Five years out, I am the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. I feel focused, centered, and in control of my life. Some may think I’m fooling myself… but what if I am? Growing into the person that I am has been one of the best things that has ever happened in my life. I am happy. I am content. In the end, my own happiness trumps anyone else’s understanding of me. If this makes me be able to function in society and find joy in life, then it is a good, and moral thing to do.

The Evil Shoe Conspiracy

Um, I think my friend Daphne works for the shoe industrial complex. Oh, and Maria too. Yes. I’m almost sure of it…. Daphne’s the one who turned me on to John Fluevog. Now, Maria’s come out with “The Carnival of Shoes and Bags!”

*whimpers*

So in an early celebration… (and show of addiction)
some of my favorites from John Fluevog:

Bacall $175 USD

or

Read more »

The Filth Of The Right

I can hardly write this post without writhing in disgust. Right Wing talk show host, Glenn Beck, recently compared Hillary Clinton’s comment on the need for health care reform to the genocide perpetrated by the Adolph Hitler and the Nazi death machine. What could Clinton say to bring comparisons to Adolph Hitler?

“But the whole issue of health care is coming back. That may be a bad dream for some, but for others, it’s a very welcome possibility, because we are on an unsustainable course. I think that we have to come up with a uniquely American solution.”

Some pretty controversial stuff there! These right wing talking heads are the first ones to criticize movie stars for speaking out on topics they have no educational background on, yet these same hacks will make outrageous statements when a politician dares to say there is a problem with our health care system.

“Of all the forms of inequality, injustice in health care is the most shocking and inhumane.” - Martin Luther King, Jr.

I laugh at that quote, considering the National Black Republican Association has made a ludicrous claim that Martin Luther King, Jr. was a Republican. 46 MILLION people are without health insurance. Those that have coverage are paying more money for less benefit. Is that the “Dream” that King spoke to the nation about?

So I ask you, who’s more like the Nazi’s, Glenn Beck or Hilary Clinton? If the US has a “Ministry of Public Enlightenment and Propaganda,” Beck is definitely an officer. He spews rhetoric and propaganda without any kind of moral or intellectual basis for his arguments. In that vein, he reminds me of Lewis Prothero, from “V for Vendetta:”

“Here was a country that had everything, absolutely everything. And now, 20 years later, is what? The world’s biggest leper colony. Why? Godlessness. Let me say that again… Godlessness. It wasn’t the war they started. It wasn’t the plague they created. It was Judgement. No one escapes their past. No one escapes Judgement. You think he’s not up there? You think he’s not watching over this country? How else can you explain it? He tested us, but we came through. We did what we had to do. Islington. Enfield. I was there, I saw it all. Immigrants, Muslims, homosexuals, terrorists. Disease-ridden degenerates. They had to go. Strength through unity. Unity through faith.”

The scary part is that he still has a voice, an audience, a fan base. The election this year gave me hope, hope for change. But as long as assholes like Glenn Beck have a podium at which they can spew this baseless rhetoric around, our country is at risk.

Hillary Clinton is by no means a friend of progressives, but the people like Glenn Beck are definitely the mouthpiece of the enemy.

Cuteness Overload

It’s funny, before I had Lola or Chaz, I had tolerated my pets (I think because they were usually chosen by someone else in my life), but always half joked that if a pet ever cost me more than it did to purchase them, I’d have them put down. Well, that theory is out the window….. Both my pets bring my great joy, and they’re both cuddlers and I love them!

Looking at my blog, I just realized that Lola has been with me two years, this Monday!
I never can seem to find a pic that really captures my cat. Well, that is, until today. I found these two on my server while doing some cleanup.

and

My little noodle cat….

<3

Carnival of Bent Attractions

November’s Carnival of Bent Attractions took place in the heat of the political season, so it’s no surprise that this month’s Carnival leans toward the political. The past two election cycles, GLBT citizens have been used as fodder in the supposed “culture war” (waged by evangelical Christians). After the historic elections on November 7th, the GLBT community has good reason to be cautiously optimistic. Hosting the Carnival this month reminded me just how far we have to go, and how much of a fight it will be to secure equality and justice for our community. Bayard Rustin once said that:

“Our job is not to get those people who dislike us to love us. Nor was our aim in the civil rights movement to get prejudiced white people to love us. Our aim was to try to create the kind of America, legislatively, morally, and psychologically, such that even though some whites continued to hate us, they could not openly manifest that hate. That’s our job today: to control the extent to which people can publicly manifest anti-gay sentiment..”

Such public anti-GLBT sentiment still exists in America. Ron Hudson describes how the radical Operation Save America group openly spewed hatred at the North Carolina Pride Parade.

“We had hecklers from a religious organization and pamphlets handed out by Ex-Gay advocates. These people, exercising their freedom of speech, set up across the street from the Pride Event, but unlike the other church organizations that participated in the events, this group shouted damnation, hatred and anger from a very loud sound-system in an attempt to disrupt the day.”

Ron said that the group’s

“message is best conveyed by their own words and deeds, but let it be known that they use references of violence, struggle, battle, and war in describing their God’s message.”

In Ron’s case, the Christian bigotry and intolerance was blasted into his ears. But many times the anti-GLBT bigotry takes on a much subtler tone. Paul Decelles of “The Force That Through” blog experienced a quiet form of bigotry by a close family friend. Thinking she was complimenting his son she said

“”I bet in 30 years he will be a Christian; it would be a shame to have heaven without Norman.”

Paul asks,

“What am I going to make of my friend’s comments? She prides herself on being tolerant of other people, but clearly this tolerance does not extend very far. You might think well so this is her personal belief so what’s the harm? There is a certain sense I suppose that there is no harm. Maybe this is analogous to a “victimless crime”, and certainly she is entitled to her benign opinion. She does not love my son any less because he is gay because after all that is indeed the Christian thing to do. The problem is that, this belief about who goes to heaven or who does not go to heaven, provides a wedge for less benign rationalizations and actions.”

Focusing on Christian tolerance, Paul wonders what kind of tolerance is in the Christian mind.

“It’s OK as long as you are tolerant and show Christian love. Love the sinner; hate the sin. It’s OK, you say because ‘I am tolerant.’ But I wonder, is it really OK. Who are you to say my son won’t go to heaven if he is not a Christian and if he is gay. Tell you what. Do what you think you need to get yourself into heaven and let my son worry about his own salvation. Or not if he so chooses.”

Intolerance can manifest itself in others, or it can foster an inner self hatred. Labradorite wryly thanks U.S. Rep. Mark Foley for coming out only after he was caught sending suggestive e-mails and sexually explicit instant messages to young men who had formerly served as congressional pages. She explains

“here is where I’m getting stuck… on the sheer unoriginality of all this. While the situation certainly involves an abuse of power, the motivation is homosexual activity”

and hypothesizes that

“Foley could have prevented all of this by just coming out of the freakin’ closet years ago.”

Jon Swift takes a more satirical look at the Foley scandal. In his entry “Mark Foley Scandal Hurts Democrats he states

“If Democrats get in power, no closeted homosexual is safe from being outed and having their personal lives subject to gossip that is “revolting and unforgivable,” as Foley characterized rumors of his own sexuality. You would think that homosexuals would be very angry at the Democrats’ homophobia and hypocrisy on gay rights. Matt Drudge, who has been a tireless defender of the rights of homosexuals to stay in the closet, believes that Rep. Foley was set up and that he is the real victim here. There was a time when the media would not even be allowed to talk about a scandal like this, but unfortunately efforts by some gays to come out and to out others is just another example of what James Dobson of Focus on the Family calls “society’s oversexualization,” which, of course, can be blamed on Bill Clinton.”

Not all news form the land of politics is about corruption, sex, or greed. Nina of Qeercents asks activist blogger John Aravosis about his thoughts on the importance of money on being happy.

“It sure as hell makes me happy when I get to travel to New York or go abroad. And you know what, you can’t do that without money. I think liberals are sometimes down on money to an extreme, and that isn’t right. Yes, bad people sometimes have money. And yes, money can sometimes turn you into a bad person. But so can success, yet that doesn’t make success a bad thing.”

Jay Sennett comments on the topic of lesbian “gender traitors” that have littered the lesbian media recently. Emphatically, Jay states

“What. Ever. It’s wrong because it isn’t true. It’s also wrong because it is a notion bandied around white trans communities because we haven’t interrogated our own race yet.”

A relatively new blogger, “The Little Pink Closet Of A Bisexual Brat,” relates to a post about “hating” a loved one, and finds a silver lining. She stated

“hate was a strong word to use… however it was hatred that I felt at that moment…” but i’ve learned that inside hate resides love-

Wether you’re gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, rejection of a loved one is often common place.

Paula Gregorowicz, from coaching4lesbians.com, discusses a “The Imposter Syndrome: Why Do So Many Successful Entrepreneurs Feel Like Fakes?” She said

“When it comes to the women in the mix, they have an added factor that fuels their feelings of self-doubt. When something goes wrong, men tend to blame things outside of themselves; however girls tend to blame themselves and internalize things. So, if a product goes bust, it is not because the product was flawed or the market just wasn’t biting. For a woman it translates into ‘I’m inadequate’”.

Paula suggests the following:

* Be mindful of what you make different events “mean”. Just like in the example above of how men versus women handle the same event, what you believe you create. Create empowering interpretations from life’s events, don’t wallow in the negative and most definitely don’t take it personally.

* Focus on the WHO of YOU not what is going on around you. Whatever business you own or job you hold will come and go; but you are stuck with YOURSELF for life. Investing in your own personal growth builds the character and life skills to not only succeed but FEEL successful and fulfilled

* Don’t compare yourself to others. Comparison only leads to distress especially when the way you think it is may not be the way it is at all. Ever compare yourself to a powerful, successful CEO who owns their own business? Well, that same CEO could’ve been profiled for this article.

* Get support. No one should have to plow through life and business challenges alone. Join a like-minded mastermind or networking group or hire a coach. The investment in time, money, and energy will yield results many times over.

Indy Star PM Update: Voting hampered by machine problems

Who the fuck is surprised? I very rarely buy conspiracy theories, but damn this draws me close to believing. A local Republican blogger said “I know some of our Democratic readers are convinced that Rokita’s statewide voter database and voter I.D., in addition to “Republican voting equipment vendors”, are part of a Republican conspiracy to steal the election from the Democrats” and that’s exactly what I’m starting to believe. They made a big deal about voter ID stuff, with NO proof of any kind of fraud, yet they “fix” a voting system that isn’t broken? Man, it’s hard not to descend into paranoid cynicism.