Remember when I hosted “The Carnival of Bent Attractions” here at Marti Abernathey.com? Well, Mombian is hosting this month’s carnival. There’s some good stuff this month, you should go check it out!
November’s Carnival of Bent Attractions took place in the heat of the political season, so it’s no surprise that this month’s Carnival leans toward the political. The past two election cycles, GLBT citizens have been used as fodder in the supposed “culture war” (waged by evangelical Christians). After the historic elections on November 7th, the GLBT community has good reason to be cautiously optimistic. Hosting the Carnival this month reminded me just how far we have to go, and how much of a fight it will be to secure equality and justice for our community. Bayard Rustin once said that:
“Our job is not to get those people who dislike us to love us. Nor was our aim in the civil rights movement to get prejudiced white people to love us. Our aim was to try to create the kind of America, legislatively, morally, and psychologically, such that even though some whites continued to hate us, they could not openly manifest that hate. That’s our job today: to control the extent to which people can publicly manifest anti-gay sentiment..”
Such public anti-GLBT sentiment still exists in America. Ron Hudson describes how the radical Operation Save America group openly spewed hatred at the North Carolina Pride Parade.
“We had hecklers from a religious organization and pamphlets handed out by Ex-Gay advocates. These people, exercising their freedom of speech, set up across the street from the Pride Event, but unlike the other church organizations that participated in the events, this group shouted damnation, hatred and anger from a very loud sound-system in an attempt to disrupt the day.”
Ron said that the group’s
“message is best conveyed by their own words and deeds, but let it be known that they use references of violence, struggle, battle, and war in describing their God’s message.”
In Ron’s case, the Christian bigotry and intolerance was blasted into his ears. But many times the anti-GLBT bigotry takes on a much subtler tone. Paul Decelles of “The Force That Through” blog experienced a quiet form of bigotry by a close family friend. Thinking she was complimenting his son she said
“”I bet in 30 years he will be a Christian; it would be a shame to have heaven without Norman.”
Paul asks,
“What am I going to make of my friend’s comments? She prides herself on being tolerant of other people, but clearly this tolerance does not extend very far. You might think well so this is her personal belief so what’s the harm? There is a certain sense I suppose that there is no harm. Maybe this is analogous to a “victimless crime”, and certainly she is entitled to her benign opinion. She does not love my son any less because he is gay because after all that is indeed the Christian thing to do. The problem is that, this belief about who goes to heaven or who does not go to heaven, provides a wedge for less benign rationalizations and actions.”
Focusing on Christian tolerance, Paul wonders what kind of tolerance is in the Christian mind.
“It’s OK as long as you are tolerant and show Christian love. Love the sinner; hate the sin. It’s OK, you say because ‘I am tolerant.’ But I wonder, is it really OK. Who are you to say my son won’t go to heaven if he is not a Christian and if he is gay. Tell you what. Do what you think you need to get yourself into heaven and let my son worry about his own salvation. Or not if he so chooses.”
Intolerance can manifest itself in others, or it can foster an inner self hatred. Labradorite wryly thanks U.S. Rep. Mark Foley for coming out only after he was caught sending suggestive e-mails and sexually explicit instant messages to young men who had formerly served as congressional pages. She explains
“here is where I’m getting stuck… on the sheer unoriginality of all this. While the situation certainly involves an abuse of power, the motivation is homosexual activity”
and hypothesizes that
“Foley could have prevented all of this by just coming out of the freakin’ closet years ago.”
Jon Swift takes a more satirical look at the Foley scandal. In his entry “Mark Foley Scandal Hurts Democrats he states
“If Democrats get in power, no closeted homosexual is safe from being outed and having their personal lives subject to gossip that is “revolting and unforgivable,” as Foley characterized rumors of his own sexuality. You would think that homosexuals would be very angry at the Democrats’ homophobia and hypocrisy on gay rights. Matt Drudge, who has been a tireless defender of the rights of homosexuals to stay in the closet, believes that Rep. Foley was set up and that he is the real victim here. There was a time when the media would not even be allowed to talk about a scandal like this, but unfortunately efforts by some gays to come out and to out others is just another example of what James Dobson of Focus on the Family calls “society’s oversexualization,” which, of course, can be blamed on Bill Clinton.”
Not all news form the land of politics is about corruption, sex, or greed. Nina of Qeercents asks activist blogger John Aravosis about his thoughts on the importance of money on being happy.
“It sure as hell makes me happy when I get to travel to New York or go abroad. And you know what, you can’t do that without money. I think liberals are sometimes down on money to an extreme, and that isn’t right. Yes, bad people sometimes have money. And yes, money can sometimes turn you into a bad person. But so can success, yet that doesn’t make success a bad thing.”
Jay Sennett comments on the topic of lesbian “gender traitors” that have littered the lesbian media recently. Emphatically, Jay states
“What. Ever. It’s wrong because it isn’t true. It’s also wrong because it is a notion bandied around white trans communities because we haven’t interrogated our own race yet.”
A relatively new blogger, “The Little Pink Closet Of A Bisexual Brat,” relates to a post about “hating” a loved one, and finds a silver lining. She stated
“hate was a strong word to use… however it was hatred that I felt at that moment…” but i’ve learned that inside hate resides love-
Wether you’re gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, rejection of a loved one is often common place.
Paula Gregorowicz, from coaching4lesbians.com, discusses a “The Imposter Syndrome: Why Do So Many Successful Entrepreneurs Feel Like Fakes?” She said
“When it comes to the women in the mix, they have an added factor that fuels their feelings of self-doubt. When something goes wrong, men tend to blame things outside of themselves; however girls tend to blame themselves and internalize things. So, if a product goes bust, it is not because the product was flawed or the market just wasn’t biting. For a woman it translates into ‘I’m inadequate’”.
Paula suggests the following:
* Be mindful of what you make different events “mean”. Just like in the example above of how men versus women handle the same event, what you believe you create. Create empowering interpretations from life’s events, don’t wallow in the negative and most definitely don’t take it personally.
* Focus on the WHO of YOU not what is going on around you. Whatever business you own or job you hold will come and go; but you are stuck with YOURSELF for life. Investing in your own personal growth builds the character and life skills to not only succeed but FEEL successful and fulfilled
* Don’t compare yourself to others. Comparison only leads to distress especially when the way you think it is may not be the way it is at all. Ever compare yourself to a powerful, successful CEO who owns their own business? Well, that same CEO could’ve been profiled for this article.
* Get support. No one should have to plow through life and business challenges alone. Join a like-minded mastermind or networking group or hire a coach. The investment in time, money, and energy will yield results many times over.