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	<title>Marti Abernathey &#187; relationships realizations</title>
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	<description>Breathing is life, but loving is living.</description>
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		<title>The Pressure to Date is Off</title>
		<link>http://www.martiabernathey.com/the-pressure-to-date-is-off.htm</link>
		<comments>http://www.martiabernathey.com/the-pressure-to-date-is-off.htm#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 04 Dec 2009 17:12:04 +0000</pubDate>
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				<category><![CDATA[My So Called Life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships realizations]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[For many years I thought I needed someone else to make me whole. Someone to &#8220;complete me.&#8221; I&#8217;ve tried so many ways to find that completeness, but sometimes the cliché is the truth. The easy truth is sometimes the hardest to actualize/realize/deal with. Ultimately I realized that I never needed anything outside my own acceptance, [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>For many years I thought I needed someone else to make me whole. Someone to &#8220;complete me.&#8221; I&#8217;ve tried so many ways to find that completeness, but sometimes the cliché is the truth. The easy truth is sometimes the hardest to actualize/realize/deal with.</p>
<p>Ultimately I realized that I never needed anything outside my own acceptance, my own love, and my own respect. Do I want those things from other people? Yes. Do I need them to be complete? Hardly.</p>
<p>But saying that doesn&#8217;t mean I want to be alone. It means I can be and that&#8217;s ok. I had a recent bout of loneliness that came over me quick and pressed down on me like an imploding house. But even in that, the above realization was always with me. I&#8217;m at a point in my life where my needs and wants are clearly defined. It helps to know the difference, especially when I get lonely. Filling that void in my life is a want, not a need. That is such a relief/weight lifted, I can&#8217;t even explain it enough for one to understand the gravity it implies.</p>
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